Saturday, February 15, 2014

Some Cyber-Bullying Truths

It's been a long time since I've posted something here. I'm a traditionalist, I still hate tumblr. I don't even know how to use the the thing. I'm just got off a cold and a side of respiratory infection that left me feeling like I jumped from a 10 meter high dive, and completly missed the pool but I'm sure my toes were pointed nice and pretty. I've decided today I'm going to tackle some aspects of cyber-bullying.  I've got some experience in the field, I was getting cyber-bullied before it was popular enough to have a house hold name. Anybody remember MSN Groups?.....yeah didn't think so.

Cyber-Bullying has become something of a modern day staple, thanks in large part to social sites like facebook and twitter. Young people and even immature adults have even more time to cyber-bully because a high-speed internet connection is in your back pocket. So what are some things, You can do if you're being cyber-bullied and also would like to avoid cyber-bullying? Here are some of the things, I would do today or did in the past.

1. If you're being cyber-bullied there is a large likelihood, that somebody from your school or work is par-taking in or may even be at the epicentre.  Print off a copy of the insults, slurs and threats that you're receiving, then take them and talk to your principle or boss. They have the authority especially in a school, to bring in IT to peak around it's network and see if they can flag matches on student/ employee log-ins to the stuff you've received. 

2. If you're being cyber-bullied, sometimes it's due to your own negligence. Take a look at your own online history as well as how you've been treating people in the real world. If you've found some indiscretions find that person(s) online or in person and issue an apology and that may well be all it takes to end your brush with being cyber-bullied.

3. Take ownership of your online content. The things you post can open you up for an attack, especially regarding the images you share. Ask yourself " Can I send this to Grandma?" if you answer NO, don't email it, text it or send it out.

4. Don't Sext or have Skype Sex( Is that even a thing?), Just avoid it. Because often this is how those slut rumours really heat up online. Unless you have some kind of odd twist to your marriage, this isn't an activity you should be indulging in.

5. If your a parent, it truly is your responsibility to check what your young people are doing online or with their phones. Even if they're fabulous kids, sometimes kids slip and you don't want them stuck.  So check your kids histories once or twice a month.  Take time to talk to them about cyber-bullying and educate yourself about it.

6.  Have thick skin, and remember " Those Who Mind Don't Matter, and those Who Don't Mind Matter". Never let the insecure delusions or bullying in your daily life and online...break your spirit. Because you'll always be better than that.

These are just some of the things, I recommend doing regarding cyber-bullying.


Sunday, January 19, 2014

You LOOK FINE, now get over yourself

I can't believe it, I have not wrote anything since November! I have been a very very naughty blogger, like super naughty. NOPE I wasn't off filming porn. I want to talk about something thats partially personal but totally relevant to a lot of people, HOW YOU LOOK!

I'll be honest, for a lot time I hated how I looked. I had no body dsyphoria or shame in that regard. Although I was told by many people I did, because I didn't wear what was popular and wasn't one for showing off my God Given Assets like floats during Macy's Thanksgiving parade. I did however really  of hate my face. I hated almost everything about it, and I disliked being short. I also hated my hands and for a long time extra muscle in my legs

I've always been baby faced, even through puberty my face changed a bit. It hardened in areas but I still looked 12. The other boys and girls finished puberty looking like men and women around 17 and 18 and I still looked like Dennis the Menace with a tan. It added a whole new dimension of crap to a childhood that revolved around surviving bullies, being picked on and having the teacher side with the bully, since the bullies had more friends to back their fake stories.

It got to the point where I spent more time inside on the computer or playing video games, than I did outside doing things and making friends, going to the mall or spending time at the beach. Sure I made a name for myself as an editor for stuntmen, but I also lost a lot of myself. I was biding my time existing and not living. I didn't even really want to take pictures with people. One day, I got up and said "SCREW IT" it was the smartest choice I've made regarding myself image.

I realized I spent all that time aspiring to look like somebody, who wasn't me. I became the worst person on judging a person by looks, except the only person I ever judged was me and it sucked the life out of me damn near.

At that moment, I saw one Hot Son of Gun looking back at me in the mirror.  I was finally able to see ME. I think I finally started to see, what a lot of other people saw. A kind face with with honey brown bedroom eyes, reddish pink lips that always look kiss swollen, A dimple on my cheek that only came out to play when I smile. I started seeing hands that were strong enough to open jars, hands that showed they've done work, created and made things even though they were sorta small. Those same muscles in my legs that I hated because they could give the illusion of hips and often had. I saw what they were muscular legs that signified hard work and dedication to my sports.

Society may teach us to be uptight about appearances and sometimes, life calls for that to a certain degree like job interviews and work place tattoos. But what impedes us the most regarding our looks and appearance it's ourselves. Ultimately we have to buck up, grow up and realize we look fine and just over ourselves.

That's me
Own what you got kids, sometimes you're just wearing the wrong jeans. It's ok to take fashion cues and suggestions to.

I may not be George Clooney, David Beckham or J.LO  but I'm one hot ME.

Monday, November 25, 2013

DWTS: When FANS attack

My apologies, it's been awhile since I've blogged. It's been a sordid tail of home based technical do it yourself surgery on my Macbook Pro. You won't believe how annoyingly smug apple is about making their computers as inconvenient as possible for you to do a DIY job. Trust me....normally people don't have a torque 6 laying around like you would a phillips, but I digress.

Tonight, I watched round one of the Dancing With the Stars finale. This season I've been far more into it, than previous seasons. Thanks to Bill Engvall and Emma Slater's partnership on the show. I enjoy Bill's comedic genius and that same genius lit up the dance floor. It was nice to see a guy who dances like me and your average guy on the show be able to succeed and whoo the crowd.
Bill & Emma post Argentine Tango

They were eliminated in tonights show, after an amazing run filled with awesome moments, laughter and in general a good old zest for life and all it has to offer.

However through out the whole season, I always came back to this one bitter low point in a lot of things, FANS with horrible sportsmanship.

Through out this season, Bill has been the proverbial upset for many a DWTS viewer. He was the guy expected to lose, he had less skill, poorer timing, pitted against dancers far better, he still managed to win out. The little train that could, the heart the determination. Bill essentially became Dancing with the Stars " Miracle on ICE" ( 1980 USA takes Olympic Gold in Ice Hockey).

The thing of the matter was a lot of the shows loyal viewers turned into vipers. Straight up bullying Bill while being behind a keyboard. Grown adults who had nothing nice to say and no qualms about it either. Many taking their tirades to the DWTS facebook walls and the twittersphere. I let it slide through out the season, Because I grew up in the wonderful world of Hockey and fans trash talk to the moon and back. What really got me was after tonight elimination, These same people were being outright bullies to Bill, nothing but a bunch of adult cyber-bullies.

 I've grown up in the hockey arena, I'm no stranger to trash talk. I have a high tolerance for it, I've even done it a time to two. However during a tournament, when a team is eliminated you congratulate them and tell them you liked something they did right. Even if they're your least favourite team or your arch-rival. It's called honour, it's sad to see that so many DWTS fans have lost their sense of honour and integrity through out the season.

Some people might chalk this up to me, being some melodramatic arse who can't get over their youth being spent getting bullied, but it's more than that. Cyber-Bullying is a huge problem, Alarmingly so, so this isn't OK.  Especially when adults are supposed to be an example to their youth. How can we as adults berate kids for their online bullying, saying how " we didn't do stuff like that" and speak of how hopeless their generation is? when ours is just as bad, no we're worse. We are grown ups, we fully understand the consequences of being bullied, being a bully and we know our rights from our wrongs and that just makes it so much worse.

Now Everybody pay attention, Cyber-Bullying needs to stop. It's not just these young immature high school kids who think they know it all, while they're still kinda stupid. It's also all of us that call ourselves mature adults.

To Bill Engvall, I would like to step out and apologize for any of the bullying that has been extended your way. Though I was never involved with it, and at times told people off, nobody deserves to be beat down each week because they aren't the best or somebody's favourite.  I think you and Emma were amazing this seasons. Your dances both awed and amazed me and you guys did improve. You've had the best lifts, your  Indiana Jones and Argentine Tango were some of my favourites this season. Emma you sculpted the Redneck Dance King and Mayor of Dance town. Your first season as a pro was phenomenal. I hope you're here next season. I'll be watching it just for you....ok and maybe a little Bruno to!

Until Next Time

Stay Beautiful, Because I think you're beautiful.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

A Lesson on Bullying from Chicago Fire

I'm going to be frank, and I'm going to be simple, we were put on this planet to Love and Be Loved.  At the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. We were meant to Talk before we Judge. We're to value what we have, and share it with those who don't.  But somewhere a long the line, we really screwed the pooch on that one. Now I love the TV show Chicago Fire. With CSI New York having finished it's run. This is the show that speaks to me. It's Character Jeff Clarke has also inspired this particular blog post. so Shout Outs: to Jeff Hephner for playing him as well as the awesome cast and crew that make this show happen.

Jeff Clarke: Played by Jeff Hephner
Now I've learned that it's not all about me. My misadventures in the world of bullies, fisticuffs and badly dealt hand don't always compute. At times I need to be relevant.

Now this pretty fellah is a Firefighter named Jeff Clarke( Jeff Hephner) from Fire House 51, a character from Chicago Fire. As I've been enjoying this fabulous show and falling into the various plot points of the show. I've been looking at Jeff's character in particular and the reactions of the Fire House in general.

He's this new guy, from a shut down fire house. He's come in and upset the balance of house 51 just by being there. He's quiet and just a bit mysterious. He also does his job, he's good at what he does and without doubt the rest of the house are glad he's there on a call. But things start going wrong and evaluator tasked with potentially shutting down the house, starts finding out things that somebody from inside would of had to tell her. He's branded a snitch. As you'd imagine, Clarke in essence gets bullied by the boys and girls of House 51. He's excluded and I imagine poor Clarke ate his meals alone and was left out of the camaraderie that comes with being part of a team and family. Now in spite of all the bullying and cold shoulders, Clarke still had his less than friendly teammates backs and even covers Mills' back by bringing back a tool he'd left behind.  Now granted this is a turning point for Clarke' character on the show. But what made this character arch really stick out. Was the fact, nobody actually took the time to talk to Clarke.

At the very core, Jeff Clarke is a character that resonates with every child or adult facing bullying. A small beacon of light that things will get better. But it paints a stark lesson about judging somebody's character without ever doing your homework. So next time you think to judge somebody, because of something you maybe thought you saw, or something somebody said, Find that person and talk to them. Because they could be your Fire Fighter Jeff Clarke.

Now if you don't watch Chicago should. It's one Tuesday Nights at 10:00PM on NBC ( America) and Global ( CANADA)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

8 Steps to Getting Better Grades At School ( Grades are Important)

I realize something, the main focus of my blog is Bullying but the truth is, I would like my blog to be something of a survival guide for the ultimately crazy school kid soup. Granted wayward parents and generally adults will frequent my blog maybe to understand their kids, maybe they're teachers or just find answers to their own life's challenges whatever the case. I want to make my blog inclusive. One thing school kids always worry about are grades, the one's who don't, probably should.

1.  Make schedule and stick to it. Set a block of time each day for homework, chores and bedtime. Scheduling your time, ultimately helps you save time and also conditions your brain to crave sleep at a consistent hour so your rested for each school day. You also train yourself to do homework during a block of time and it becomes easier to not only focus on work but remember to do it.

2. Eat balanced meals and healthy snacks, your brain needs food in order to thrive. Eating healthy keeps your energy stores high and makes it easier to concentrate in class. A diet rich in junk food and fries from your cafeteria helps your brain wander and lose focus easily and your energy starts waning sooner.

3. ASK FOR HELP, this is a big one. Don't be afraid to ask a teacher to repeat an example. Don't be afraid to ask a teacher for help finding a tutor if you need the extra help. I made the mistake of not doing this in high school and paid the consequences. It wasn't pretty.

4. Read more BOOKS,  reading is essential to life's success and it's one of the few things that effect every facet of your education and work world post school.  Read a good book, get lost in the adventure or the history or the life of a person. Paint pictures with your mind. Reading works more of your brain than texting, tweeting or the TV ever will.

5. Be active, put down your phones, laptops, DS's and all that technology and go play outside, ride a bike, go to the gym just get out there. Burning off excess energy helps you to concentrate and also makes you a far healthier individual and it's often easier to learn when your body feels healthy and good.

6. Have a study space! Having a place designated for studying and doing homework really helps.
Room By Aaron Christiensen 
Working at the kitchen table is find in 2nd grade but as you get older it's not a great solution.  You should have all the things you need to accomplish school work organized in your study area to avoid running around looking for that Pen, Ruler and so forth. If you don't have your own study space in the house, talk to your parents about putting a desk in your room.

7. Use your agenda, most schools even colleges provide students with an agenda or planner. It contains the usual school rule book, calendar of events/ holidays ect...but come on do we really use it? NOPE...but we should. I didn't start using mine until college and it was night and day. Use your agenda to write down assignment due dates, assignment reminders and what your homework is that night. This ensures you don't forget to do something at night and the less homework you don't do, the more points that get recorded into your over all grade.

8. Just take a break, don't forget to take a break while studying and doing homework. It gives your brain a chance to relax and de-stress.

If you have the ability leave a comment, let me know what ideas you have for future blog posts. If you can't comment...your welcome to comment to me on twitter.

I hope this Helps...

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Drugs...won't heal your pain and they'll never make you cool.

If their is one thing, I despise more than bullying, it's drugs. Now folks I'm not talking about your garden variety of tylenol or the penicillin, that lovely doctor prescribed for your cold. I'm talking about weed, kush, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and whatever else. The real stuff.

I rarely take the time to be completely blunt but this stuff is serious and things need to be said. You may be part of the in crowd today because your smoking that spliff, but what happens tomorrow? Prison, Addiction, A grassy plot a memorial cemetery, Your left overs in an urn?  None of those things are cool.

Today that Heroin might numb your pain, but eventually that pain will become immune and your left an addict with a drug addled brain and an immeasurable you can never lessen because drugs don't deal with it. Like treating gunshot wound with a hello kitty band-aid.

Never be the reason somebody turns to drugs, Never offer your friends drugs. If you see that a friend of yours is using, it's time to be responsible and talk to them and bring their parents into the conversation. You might hurt your friendship, but friendships mend like broken bones and you could save their life. Never, be a bully. Because sometimes being bullied is the catalyst to another's drug addiction. Be a friend and you might just keep a person from that path.

If you ever find yourself in a position where you hurt so much, that you want to consider drugs, don't. It's time to talk with a parent, teacher, principle, priest, anyone you trust or call a support line. Maybe find a support group anything to stay off of that road. It's a dark, dangerous road full of hurt and sorrow for more people than just you. If your struggling with drugs, it's time to find a support group and to talk, because staying on them isn't an option. Don't be ashamed, it's better to be remembered as a former addict who had the courage to come forget and get help to find away to get clean. Than to be remembered as the addict who never tried or didn't have the courage.

Young adults, adults....don't buy into this garbage that you need drugs to have fun, let loose and chill out. If thats the case, you've forgotten how to have fun.

Take one look at Hollywood or the music industry and look at the effects drugs have had. It's never pretty. Life is not the next picture in the Hang Over Franchise.


Saturday, October 5, 2013

Don't Judge a Book By it's Cover

As a society, we place so much emphasis on how a person should look. Whats hot and whats not. We've been programmed this why by our father's before us, as they were by theirs. But I have come to the conclusion that it shouldn't matter how I look or anyone does for that matter.

I see it all the time, beautiful people who are turned away or left out of things, because they don't look right. What are we teaching our children? to be judgemental, to judge merit on other men by the clothes on their backs?  However the first thing we ever tell a child is " Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover", It's something every child learns, while growing up in a world that teaches them other wise.

It's high time we collectively started looking beyond the cover when it comes to people in ours lives or those we've yet to meet. Maybe a girl prefers to wear boys pants, maybe because they're more durable than girls and she just likes them.  Maybe a boy would rather a shirt that says " Mommy's Little Shopper" because he likes to go shopping with mommy more than playing in the sand box. But then these two amazing little children are shunned because society taught us they shouldn't wear those clothes or look that way. That only continues on and now those kids aren't just being left out at recess but shut out of jobs....because they don't look right.

It makes you wonder about where the world would be if we spent more time judging the content of one's character on not their covers. Maybe the world economy would be different because the people who could do the jobs best weren't turned away because she was a women who rocked a man's suit and short hair, Because He was a man who had long hair and wore light pastels and tight pants. Maybe the very high schools we send out children too, would be safer with less bullying because it was ok to dress and look different from the crowd.
I'm a handsome Women, and I can Do IT
I'm A Beautiful Man, I can Do it Too

Next time you see somebody who walks their own path in the looks department. Don't just judge, say HI and spend sometime reading whats between those covers. You just might make a new friend.

A little more Food for Thought.