Some Cyber-Bullying Truths

It's been a long time since I've posted something here. I'm a traditionalist, I still hate tumblr. I don't even know how to use the the thing. I'm just got off a cold and a side of respiratory infection that left me feeling like I jumped from a 10 meter high dive, and completly missed the pool but I'm sure my toes were pointed nice and pretty. I've decided today I'm going to tackle some aspects of cyber-bullying.  I've got some experience in the field, I was getting cyber-bullied before it was popular enough to have a house hold name. Anybody remember MSN Groups?.....yeah didn't think so.

Cyber-Bullying has become something of a modern day staple, thanks in large part to social sites like facebook and twitter. Young people and even immature adults have even more time to cyber-bully because a high-speed internet connection is in your back pocket. So what are some things, You can do if you're being cyber-bullied and also would like to avoid cyber-bullying? Here are some of the things, I would do today or did in the past.

1. If you're being cyber-bullied there is a large likelihood, that somebody from your school or work is par-taking in or may even be at the epicentre.  Print off a copy of the insults, slurs and threats that you're receiving, then take them and talk to your principle or boss. They have the authority especially in a school, to bring in IT to peak around it's network and see if they can flag matches on student/ employee log-ins to the stuff you've received. 

2. If you're being cyber-bullied, sometimes it's due to your own negligence. Take a look at your own online history as well as how you've been treating people in the real world. If you've found some indiscretions find that person(s) online or in person and issue an apology and that may well be all it takes to end your brush with being cyber-bullied.

3. Take ownership of your online content. The things you post can open you up for an attack, especially regarding the images you share. Ask yourself " Can I send this to Grandma?" if you answer NO, don't email it, text it or send it out.

4. Don't Sext or have Skype Sex( Is that even a thing?), Just avoid it. Because often this is how those slut rumours really heat up online. Unless you have some kind of odd twist to your marriage, this isn't an activity you should be indulging in.

5. If your a parent, it truly is your responsibility to check what your young people are doing online or with their phones. Even if they're fabulous kids, sometimes kids slip and you don't want them stuck.  So check your kids histories once or twice a month.  Take time to talk to them about cyber-bullying and educate yourself about it.

6.  Have thick skin, and remember " Those Who Mind Don't Matter, and those Who Don't Mind Matter". Never let the insecure delusions or bullying in your daily life and online...break your spirit. Because you'll always be better than that.

These are just some of the things, I recommend doing regarding cyber-bullying.

-H

A Lesson on Bullying from Chicago Fire

I'm going to be frank, and I'm going to be simple, we were put on this planet to Love and Be Loved.  At the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. We were meant to Talk before we Judge. We're to value what we have, and share it with those who don't.  But somewhere a long the line, we really screwed the pooch on that one. Now I love the TV show Chicago Fire. With CSI New York having finished it's run. This is the show that speaks to me. It's Character Jeff Clarke has also inspired this particular blog post. so Shout Outs: to Jeff Hephner for playing him as well as the awesome cast and crew that make this show happen.

Jeff Clarke: Played by Jeff Hephner

Now I've learned that it's not all about me. My misadventures in the world of bullies, fisticuffs and badly dealt hand don't always compute. At times I need to be relevant.

Now this pretty fellah is a Firefighter named Jeff Clarke( Jeff Hephner) from Fire House 51, a character from Chicago Fire. As I've been enjoying this fabulous show and falling into the various plot points of the show. I've been looking at Jeff's character in particular and the reactions of the Fire House in general.

He's this new guy, from a shut down fire house. He's come in and upset the balance of house 51 just by being there. He's quiet and just a bit mysterious. He also does his job, he's good at what he does and without doubt the rest of the house are glad he's there on a call. But things start going wrong and evaluator tasked with potentially shutting down the house, starts finding out things that somebody from inside would of had to tell her. He's branded a snitch. As you'd imagine, Clarke in essence gets bullied by the boys and girls of House 51. He's excluded and I imagine poor Clarke ate his meals alone and was left out of the camaraderie that comes with being part of a team and family. Now in spite of all the bullying and cold shoulders, Clarke still had his less than friendly teammates backs and even covers Mills' back by bringing back a tool he'd left behind.  Now granted this is a turning point for Clarke' character on the show. But what made this character arch really stick out. Was the fact, nobody actually took the time to talk to Clarke.

At the very core, Jeff Clarke is a character that resonates with every child or adult facing bullying. A small beacon of light that things will get better. But it paints a stark lesson about judging somebody's character without ever doing your homework. So next time you think to judge somebody, because of something you maybe thought you saw, or something somebody said, Find that person and talk to them. Because they could be your Fire Fighter Jeff Clarke.

Now if you don't watch Chicago Fire....you should. It's one Tuesday Nights at 10:00PM on NBC ( America) and Global ( CANADA)

Just let Beautiful, Be Beautiful.

In the last seven days millions of children, teenagers and young adults have made the trek back to school. A year to grow, learn, live, love laugh and be Beautiful. Beautiful is a state of being and not something defined by society.  Girls and Boys never, ever let the people around you or society dictate your brand of beautiful, being beautiful isn't something you learn to be, takes steps to be it's something you are.

Nobody should say you're not a pretty girl, because pretty girls don't wear boy jeans, sci-fi t-shirts and faux hawk hair. Nobody should say that only beautiful girls dress in pink, purple and close that flatter their girlish curves. Nobody should say that you're not a pretty girl because you don't have a big chest, that your arms are to muscular. Nobody should say you're not a gorgeous girl because you aren't skinny or your to skinny.

Nobody should say you're not a handsome boy, because handsome boys look athletic. Nobody should say you're not a beautiful boy, because beautiful boys don't wear skinny jeans, light pastels and shirts with cute graphics. Nobody should say you're not a handsome boy because your muscles aren't big and you don't even lift bro. Nobody should say you're not gorgeous because you're just a little to fat.

When people say that, don't listen to them. People like that are full of crap. Kids, No people don't be those people, don't be a contributor to a society that thinks they have a monopoly on what makes you beautiful. What has society driven beauty ever achieved? Anorexic young women, Bulimic Boys, Bullying and generations of people who'll never be able to look in the mirror and say " I'm beautiful" and believe it.

Yes I know, everybody has their turn ons and what they find attractive in other people. Thats normal, thats fine but you should never tell a person they're ugly and so disgusting that no one will ever want them and they need to change to be more Beautiful.

It's time to just let beautiful, be beautiful.

Nothing More, Nothing Less.

-H